Good Book - Not "Just Friends": Rebuilding Trust and Recovering Your Sanity After Infidelity by Shirley P. Glass (Author)
So my regular doctor told me to get a book and it’s been really helpful…. Grant it, it has also been very hard and painful to read… It tells about all sides of an affair (the betrayed partner and about both sides that were involved in the affair) It kind of gets in their head and let you see what each is thinking…not easy stuff to read about and yes it has made Maurice and I fight over some of the stuff, kind of re-hash some things out, and at times doubt why I am still with Maurice…(I think Maurice is ready for me to be done reading this book) but the overall theme of the book is about how to not let an affair happen, staying together after an affair, how that works, what needs to change, and how to build a strong relationship so an affair doesn’t happen again.
I am about half way through the book and now I am onto the more positive chapters (“Should you pick up the pieces or throw in the towel” / “How to cope with Obsessing and flashbacks”) they don’t sound so positive do they…. But these two chapters have been very helpful and positive for me.
Well the book is called - Not "Just Friends": Rebuilding Trust and Recovering Your Sanity After Infidelity by Shirley P. Glass (Author)
http://books.google.com/books?id=zT447ikZz6sC&dq=not+%22Just+friends%22&printsec=frontcover&source=bn&hl=en&ei=DuQZStr8KIGUMqujnZkP&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=4#PPR9,M1
In the first chapter she has two quizzes, which I found helpful… to bad I didn’t have them earlier…. but then again, I might not have gotten the honest answers if I asked before either…. I know I’ve talked to many of you and you stressed to me that you wanted to see these quizzes and some of you want to ask your spouses these quizzes….. so anyways I give you these quizzes in the hopes that you may answer these honestly yourself or in hopes that you may get honest answers from whomever you ask these questions to.
Quiz: Has Your Friendship Become an Emotional Affair?
http://www.shirleyglass.com/quizfriendship.php
Quiz: Is Your On-line Friendship Too Friendly?
http://www.shirleyglass.com/quizonline.php
Good luck with it.
If you have been through an affair recently or want to know some things I needed to think through another good part of the book to look at is:
Questions Betrayed Partners Can Ask Themselves
http://books.google.com/books?id=RFPtlaYKRhIC&pg=PA127&lpg=PA127&dq=questions+betrayed+partnes+can+ask+themselves&source=bl&ots=8Elr40VuIM&sig=axjO-Jo1N7W556wdhcPOlNcocYM&hl=en&ei=8RAcSoimOZX2MfHUwY8P&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=1
Questions Involved Partners Can Ask Themselves
http://books.google.com/books?id=RFPtlaYKRhIC&pg=PA127&lpg=PA127&dq=questions+betrayed+partnes+can+ask+themselves&source=bl&ots=8Elr40VuIM&sig=axjO-Jo1N7W556wdhcPOlNcocYM&hl=en&ei=8RAcSoimOZX2MfHUwY8P&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=1
The book is all about creating windows and wall between friends. A window should be between you and your spouse and a wall between you and your friends. An affair happens when you switch it so your friend had a window and your spouse has a wall. It’s all about how much you share and with whom you share it with. You should share everything with your spouse and only some with your friends. From the book “When a friend knows more about your marriage than a spouse knows about your friendship, you have already reversed the healthy position of walls and windows.”
Don’t discuss relationship problems with anyone who could be a potential alternative to your spouse. From the book “Sharing your relationship dissatisfactions with a third party opens a window and begins to create a bond that often crosses the first threshold into an affair.”
Well that sums up what I wanted to share about the book I am reading. I thought some of you could benefit from hearing about what I am reading. I end with, if you have been betrayed, no matter what anyone says to you… IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT!!! IT WAS THEIR CHOICE!! YOU DIDN’T AND DON’T DESERVE IT! YOU ARE WORTHY OF BEING LOVED BETTER!!
Blog Disclaimer:
Just to clear up some concerns with some of my readers… I am an open book about life on my blogs, it's the good, the bad and the Ugly... it's what I do, it's what I have always done... unfortunately this is the Ugly and it needs to come out... I use my blogs to vent and let people know what is going on in my life... I am doing what I need to do that is best for me. I am not trying to blog at anyone However, things might get uncomfortably real so if that’s a problem with you, if you don’t want to know about my life, then you might think about quit reading my blog, or un-friend me.
To see the beginning of all this mess here's my previous blog : http://supersjbroaddus.xanga.com/700908997/how-much-is-too-much-when-should-i-give-up/
