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supersjbroaddus
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Name: Sally
Country: United States
State: Indiana
Metro: Indianapolis
Birthday: 9/26/1970
Gender: Female
Interests: Scrapbooking, woodworking projects, Church, spending time with friends
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Least favorite things:
Reading books and Playing games. (any book and any game, it's not my thing to do, unless I am forced to do one)
Expertise: Woodworking projects- making the plan up and then making the item from scratch EXAMPLE: Bunkbeds, kids fort, kids tunnel, DVD storage, Bookcases
Message: message me
Member Since:
3/3/2005
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| OK so my Parole has been revoked today…. After today I had only one week left on my 6 year sentence and then I was going to be set free to go to the real world. Today the top boss at work (my bosses, bosses, boss) come to me and asked me to stay on at Work… For those of you don’t know – on May 18th my work told me they were eliminating all part time positions and I needed to go full time 7am – 3:30pm , or I had no job, so after a week of thinking about it, I said I can’t do 7am but could do 9am – 5:30pm. He said I hate to lose you but your last day is June 19th Ok back to today… I of course was shocked and said “What?! You just did interviews to fill my job earlier this week, What about that?” He said right now corporate is putting a hiring freeze so the girl that would have taken my job, well the position she would leave wouldn’t be able to be filled, and each of the girls that interviewed for the position have an important job already and their job just can’t stay empty. So since he was already upset to loose me in the first place, he was hoping I would choose to stay on. So they can keep all the current positions filled. He said think about it over the weekend…. I called Maurice, almost right away, which said what I was thinking. TAKE IT, STAY AT YOUR CURRENT JOB! So I accepted it, and I get to keep my current job, with my current hours. I am torn since part of me was glad I was leaving my job… I was doing the “I only have one week left of work” dance. (I had freedom in sight) But on the other hand, although I put out many resumes and job applications. I had no leads or interviews yet, plus most of the jobs I was looking at were going to be a big pay cut. So I guess it’s a blessing. The top Boss can’t guarantee how long I will have my job, due to the fact that as soon as corporate releases the hiring freeze he wants that position filled. So I will either be able to accept the full time position or they with give it to whomever they picked from the interviews. (well if they still want it) He said he doesn’t know little or how long I would be able to keep my job. It could be weeks, months or even years. I answered “So let’s say in a couple weeks you can fill the full time position, how much notice do I get to know that I am loosing my job again” He said “I will try to give you as much time as possible, I will try to give you 30 days notice.” I said “I can handle that.” I may not always like my current job, but I do have to say I get paid quite well for the job I do, and it has the perfect hours for our family. So it’s hard to think about switching jobs, so I am glad this opportunity has opened up. No matter how long or little it lasts. It really takes a load off my shoulders. I was not to tell this news to anyone at work, due to the Boss wants to break the news himself to the girls that interviewed for my position…. one of the girls is my good buddy and of course she twisted the news out of me. She’s not mad that she didn’t get the job, she’s actually happy (gave me two high fives) since I am staying at work, she was mad I wouldn’t take the full time position. She wanted us to continue working together. Now she would have gladly taken my job if I left, since it’s a day shift hours and her current hours totally suck. Now I have to wait it out, until the top boss tells people, probably Monday, he hasn’t even told my direct boss yet. Which was hard since my direct boss went through the motions of saying good bye today due to the fact that he is on vacation all next week (my last day was scheduled to be June 19th, next Friday) so today is the last time he was supposed to see me. So he did the big speech of sorry you are leaving, you always did a good job, call me if you need anything, etc… can I just say…… I LOVE MY DIRECT BOSS! HE’S ALWAYS BEEN PRETTY GREAT TO ME! So it killed me to not tell him, I had to play along. SUCK!! I almost cracked twice, but I stayed strong. I didn’t want to be the one to tell my direct boss, due to my direct boss has been fighting to get another full time employee in his department for quite some time, he did several 45 minute interviews to fill this position earlier this week, and now it’s all for nothing. You get to keep the part-time employee. Now I now he likes me and likes what I bring to the team, but he needed someone to work more hours, there is more work required to be done and I just can’t get it done in the 4 hours I am there each day. So I know he will be a little disappointed. So there it is, my big news, I get to keep my current job, with my current part-time hours. So celebrate with me!!! Thanks for all the prayers and concerns about my job situation…. It was very stressful for me. | | |
| Good Book - Not "Just Friends": Rebuilding Trust and Recovering Your Sanity After Infidelity by Shirley P. Glass (Author) So my regular doctor told me to get a book and it’s been really helpful…. Grant it, it has also been very hard and painful to read… It tells about all sides of an affair (the betrayed partner and about both sides that were involved in the affair) It kind of gets in their head and let you see what each is thinking…not easy stuff to read about and yes it has made Maurice and I fight over some of the stuff, kind of re-hash some things out, and at times doubt why I am still with Maurice…(I think Maurice is ready for me to be done reading this book) but the overall theme of the book is about how to not let an affair happen, staying together after an affair, how that works, what needs to change, and how to build a strong relationship so an affair doesn’t happen again. I am about half way through the book and now I am onto the more positive chapters (“Should you pick up the pieces or throw in the towel” / “How to cope with Obsessing and flashbacks”) they don’t sound so positive do they…. But these two chapters have been very helpful and positive for me. Well the book is called - Not "Just Friends": Rebuilding Trust and Recovering Your Sanity After Infidelity by Shirley P. Glass (Author) http://books.google.com/books?id=zT447ikZz6sC&dq=not+%22Just+friends%22&printsec=frontcover&source=bn&hl=en&ei=DuQZStr8KIGUMqujnZkP&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=4#PPR9,M1 In the first chapter she has two quizzes, which I found helpful… to bad I didn’t have them earlier…. but then again, I might not have gotten the honest answers if I asked before either…. I know I’ve talked to many of you and you stressed to me that you wanted to see these quizzes and some of you want to ask your spouses these quizzes….. so anyways I give you these quizzes in the hopes that you may answer these honestly yourself or in hopes that you may get honest answers from whomever you ask these questions to. Quiz: Has Your Friendship Become an Emotional Affair? http://www.shirleyglass.com/quizfriendship.php Quiz: Is Your On-line Friendship Too Friendly? http://www.shirleyglass.com/quizonline.php Good luck with it. If you have been through an affair recently or want to know some things I needed to think through another good part of the book to look at is: Questions Betrayed Partners Can Ask Themselves http://books.google.com/books?id=RFPtlaYKRhIC&pg=PA127&lpg=PA127&dq=questions+betrayed+partnes+can+ask+themselves&source=bl&ots=8Elr40VuIM&sig=axjO-Jo1N7W556wdhcPOlNcocYM&hl=en&ei=8RAcSoimOZX2MfHUwY8P&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=1 Questions Involved Partners Can Ask Themselves http://books.google.com/books?id=RFPtlaYKRhIC&pg=PA127&lpg=PA127&dq=questions+betrayed+partnes+can+ask+themselves&source=bl&ots=8Elr40VuIM&sig=axjO-Jo1N7W556wdhcPOlNcocYM&hl=en&ei=8RAcSoimOZX2MfHUwY8P&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=1 The book is all about creating windows and wall between friends. A window should be between you and your spouse and a wall between you and your friends. An affair happens when you switch it so your friend had a window and your spouse has a wall. It’s all about how much you share and with whom you share it with. You should share everything with your spouse and only some with your friends. From the book “When a friend knows more about your marriage than a spouse knows about your friendship, you have already reversed the healthy position of walls and windows.” Don’t discuss relationship problems with anyone who could be a potential alternative to your spouse. From the book “Sharing your relationship dissatisfactions with a third party opens a window and begins to create a bond that often crosses the first threshold into an affair.” Well that sums up what I wanted to share about the book I am reading. I thought some of you could benefit from hearing about what I am reading. I end with, if you have been betrayed, no matter what anyone says to you… IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT!!! IT WAS THEIR CHOICE!! YOU DIDN’T AND DON’T DESERVE IT! YOU ARE WORTHY OF BEING LOVED BETTER!! Blog Disclaimer: Just to clear up some concerns with some of my readers… I am an open book about life on my blogs, it's the good, the bad and the Ugly... it's what I do, it's what I have always done... unfortunately this is the Ugly and it needs to come out... I use my blogs to vent and let people know what is going on in my life... I am doing what I need to do that is best for me. I am not trying to blog at anyone However, things might get uncomfortably real so if that’s a problem with you, if you don’t want to know about my life, then you might think about quit reading my blog, or un-friend me. To see the beginning of all this mess here's my previous blog : http://supersjbroaddus.xanga.com/700908997/how-much-is-too-much-when-should-i-give-up/
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| Sometimes I’m sorry doesn’t always cut it“Sometimes I’m sorry doesn’t always cut it, Maybe because we use it so many different ways… As a weapon… as an excuse… But when we are really sorry, we use it right when we mean it. Our Actions say what word never can When we get it right, I’m sorry is perfect. When we get it right, I’m sorry is redemption.” The quote above is a from this weeks show “Grey’s Anatomy” (one of my favorite shows) Some of my thoughts are: I’m sorry means nothing when the person doesn’t really mean it, when they say they have no words. I’m sorry means nothing when they say it because they feel they have to say it. When they say it because they feel it’s the proper thing to do, because they feel otherwise everyone will look at them badly if they don’t say it. I’m sorry means nothing unless if comes from deep inside, when it comes from the heart. However……. I’m sorry means something when the person fights to keep your friendship / relationship. When they open up and be honest (well hopefully) and real with you, when they end the lies and try to make a fresh start. I’m sorry means something when they chase you down begging for your forgiveness, and really mean it. I’m sorry means something when they know how bad they messed up and truly understand the pain they have caused. So where am I…..
Right now…. I think Maurice is truly sorry…well, at least most of the time I do….. So now I am working on where does it go from here. I’ll have to do another blog on forgiveness…. I’m not there yet… don’t give me the quote “Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and hoping the other person gets sick." I’ve been given that quote numerous times…..Darn you OPRAH, everyone watched that @#&* show where Oprah said that….. Forgiveness is a whole another ball park….It’s hard to forgive when it is fresh and raw…… It’s hard to forgive someone that you feel is not truly sorry to you. It’s hard to forgive someone you can’t trust. It’s hard to forgive someone that you can’t look them in their face without wanting to punch them or throw up at the sight of them. But hopefully one day I will be able to get there….. right now I am not there. Right now I need lots of distance between me and “her”…. Actually both the “hers” involved.(Lauren and Becky) Blog Disclaimer: Just to clear up some concerns with some of my readers… I am an open book about life on my blogs, it's the good, the bad and the Ugly... it's what I do, it's what I have always done... unfortunately this is the Ugly and it needs to come out... I use my blogs to vent and let people know what is going on in my life... I am doing what I need to do that is best for me. I am not trying to blog at anyone However, things might get uncomfortably real so if that’s a problem with you, if you don’t want to know about my life, then you might think about quit reading my blog, or un-friend me or everyone involved. | | |
| How much is too much? When should I give up…..Warning not a happy blog.... I feel it's best to get it out and in the open to help me get it over with. Instead of letting people know one by one and feeling the pain of telling everyone one by one. Plus I can't keep all this in any longer.
This Past week my world has been turned upside down (starting last Sunday Morning 04-19-2009)… prayer would be greatly appreciated….. many of you have read my husbands blog and know the story, but for those that haven’t…... there is no easy way to say it so here it is: My husband (Maurice) has had a 3 ½ - 4 year affair with a good, well used to be good friend of ours (Lauren – no use hiding her name now - in hindsight she really was no friend of mine – too many lies to my face) ……needless to say I am stunned, pissed off, hurt, ashamed, embarrassed, and what not. I am taking things hour by hour instead of day by day… will have to see how things end up.
Feo Amante posted something on his facebook that hit me:
Things that women don’t get about straight guys: 15th in a series –
When a gal catches her guy cheating, she wants her man back from “that slut”.
When a guy catches his gal cheating, he wants his life back from “that slut”.
It’s true I want my man back, because I want my life back, we have kids together, my life is a family life, I thought it was a happy life, but that was a life chuck full of lies.
So was I ever really happy? Was Maurice ever happy with his life with me? Now I have to wonder. Why do I want this man back? Somehow, someway I am still staying with him (well at least for now) but it’s far from being fixed, OK or Happy. Let’s face it I don’t know if I can ever trust him again.
Don’t worry I have a core set of friends (Ro, Jenn, Kiesha and Cary – my sister-in-law, my best friend, my co-worker, and the pastor’s wife) that are checking in on me, letting me vent the raw hard stuff, be real with them, keep me grounded, and helping me not kill anyone involved…. I don’t say that lightly, Maurice is really lucky to make it past last Tuesday as I found out that on top of all this, a previous affair (Becky - in our first 6 months of marriage) was more than just an “emotional” affair like I have been told all this time, the affair to Becky was much like this one to Lauren except shorter, probably since with Becky I found evidence of the emotional affair sooner. I have been told all the horrible details of both affairs. I still can’t figure out why Maurice is still living and I am not in jail for killing that bastard….. but he lives… I knew if I started to hit him it was over, one hit would turn into 50 hits and then I might have grabbed something (kitchen Knife) and he was going to be a dead man.……I am past the rage against him, well for the most part, I still have my moments with him… however right now Lauren is not looking to fair to well if our paths would cross. Her deception was deep into my life.
So now I have face the fact that I have been fooled by Maurice twice. Great… At the moment we are working things out, but that all may change….. I really have no clue why I am staying, I never in my life ever thought I would doubt leaving… I don’t respect cheaters (someone that would cheat on me nor friends that can cheat on someone)
I stayed after the first affair since I thought it was only an "emotional" affair (which I don’t take lightly) and plus some of it was due to I had just found out I was pregnant with Reese (a month or two along) I didn’t want to be a single mom with a kid, however if I knew there was more with Becky back then, I am sure it would have ended and I would have left. Back then, Maurice and my relationship was so rocky that I know I wouldn’t have stayed, we were 6 months into our marriage and already on the brink of divorce.
This time is different since I felt our relationship has been so good, especially the past 3 – 4 months…. Which is really a lie since the affair with Lauren was going strong during that time, it makes me sick, to know how deep the deception was…… I let her stay at my house many times. I recently almost let her move in to stay for a couple months…she was bold enough to allow things to happen in my house while I am home asleep, while my boys were asleep, then she boldly comes back the next night to my house and allows it to happen again…. my precious yet now very tainted house…. it makes me want to vomit. I didn’t say that to condemn her nor gossip about her, because frankly there so much more I am not saying… and somehow, someway I still love that B*@#%, and I hate to admit that it pains me that she is out of my life, she used to call me mom, I thought we were good friends … But I say it to let people know that I was not fooled by the lies, that I am not naively taking Maurice back…. Why am I not running away, or at least sending Maurice away???
I know some of me not leaving is due to we have kids but I am not a fool and staying just for the kids sake. By the way they don't know much of anything going on... just lots of grown up talk. Since we try to wait hash things out when they are at school or asleep. I also know that it’s not just one person’s fault or the other, it’s 50 –50 in this case. Let me tell you , my husband is far from being innocent and let off the hook.
I am searching for what I want, I’m not sure why I haven’t told him to get the hell out…. I just know I love him more than he can ever understand, I don’t think he ever understood just how much I love him, but just me loving him is not enough, because that’s not me looking out for myself. I hope I am doing the right thing…… I really, really hope I am doing the right thing by staying.
I know that in order to move on in our relationship it needs fixed. (lots of works - He has to push thru the hard stuff) but right now I know he has to fix himself - he had a childhood similar but worse to this – though he has no right to ruin our kids life so they turn out just like he did, which, this should make me run… To save our children, because if my children grown up and turn into this horrible image of a man (to make the same mistakes that their own father has, or worse to turn out just like their grandfather or their great grandfathers - to clarify with my family: on Maurice’s side of the family) then I have failed to protect my children and I won’t be able to live with myself with that knowledge… we all have crap from the past that shapes us but we can’t allow it to run how we live our lives and have it be the standard, nor allow it to ruin other peoples lives… so he has to fix himself before he can even think about fixing us, and he has to hope and pray that it’s not too late, or I’m too hurt to trust him again, and pray I am still here when he gets done.
Just so you know, this makes me doubt every female in Maurice’s life. I know it’s not fair to make everyone pay for the sins of others. But right now I am at a point of I don’t know who to trust, so I trust no one. I question everyone and if it winds up pissing you off , well right now I can’t worry about saving a friendship since I am trying to save my whole world, my life, and find out what I want…… My focus is on me now (and my kids) after that the rest is relative. Right now you are either with me or against me. My life was shattered to the core and I am just now trying to pick up the pieces.
Rest assured I am eating, sleeping, and showering.... well somewhat eating and sleeping (lost like 7 lbs in one week, which usually would be a praise) pray for me, pray for my kids, and I guess if you feel like it pray for Maurice.
Here is what Maurcie wrote about it:
Maurice Broaddus New Blog Post: Secret Lives, Secret Shame Maurice Broaddus New Blog Post: On Idea of Confessing Maurice Broaddus New Blog Post: Good Days Bad Days Maurice Broaddus New Blog Post: Prayer of Repentance Maurice Broaddus New Blog Post: Back to your Regularly Scheduled Blog | | |
| It's no joke... 9 years Baby!!!! Today (April 1st - April Fools day) is Maurice and my wedding anniversary, and it's been 9 years, It's hard to imagine it's been that long. Sure we've had our ups and down (but who hasn't) but overall I'm glad I married Maurice. Here's some pictures to remind me of that special day.... April 1, 2000 
Here's me getting ready - The Lovely Ro (my sister-in-law) did my hair and makeup 
Maurice getting ready  Um yeah... the fellows laughing since Donnell (next to Maurice) fell on the steps on the walk in... it's all on tape and at the time I knew nothing of this.. since I was out in the lobby waiting to come in .. Maurice told me during the service and them later we played it on the big screen as we were getting pictures done. 
Sally and Maurice 
Sally and Maurice  Rich Vincent doing the ceremony 
Maurice and Sally with Rich Vincent 
The vows  The Vows  The girls and guys in our wedding party Gaye Lynn Strickland (Maid of Honor) and Donnell (Best man) Beth Eckerley and Jon Harp, Natalie Smith (my sister) and Dan Bush Debi Trumble and Anthony Broaddus (Maurice's Brother)  We did bird seed... for anyone getting married, I highly suggest doing bubbles.... I ended up with like a pound of bird seed in my hair, and in my dress, it was everywhere.... and it kind of hurts when it hits you.  Our lovely cake..... I was surprised since I was just going to do something much simpler, but Ro and/or her Mom (Maurice's mom) wanted to do the cake..... it was pretty.... funny part was the couple on top of the cake was a white couple that they colored the man brown and colored the girls hair brown, well it worked.  Sally and Maurice eating the cake  Maurice's mom was in charge of the reception.... which only had a couple tense moments about it.... but over all she did a great job.... she went a little over the top but it was all good.... there was an Children's african dance troop that came and played the drums and danced.. plus even though it was catered, she had made a ton of Jamaician food also.  there was also a DJ so everyone could dance... we also had a TV in one corner due to it was final 4 weekend and all the guys wanted to see the games. Maurice and I did one dance and then tried to dart for the door (Maurice's idea) we got stopped a few hundred times and then made our way out of there... off to the honeymoon... in town one night at the sybaris and then off to Florida for a week.  9 years later, we had two boys along the way and here we are still together....  Maurice is hard to buy for.... so this year I did a money bush... Happy Anniversary Maurice!!! 
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